If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
I only kidnapped one of them. chill
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
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