seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
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