Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
I'm getting married
To pizza
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
Randomize
