So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
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