Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.�
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
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