i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
Randomize
