So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
Randomize
