My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
Randomize
