He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
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