Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
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