and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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