I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
I have aggressive nipples.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize
