So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Randomize
