ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
Randomize
