I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
