No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
