Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Randomize
