I cannot find my penis.
i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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