If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize
