tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
He had one of those small greek statue penises
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
