If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
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