My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
Randomize
