i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
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