if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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