I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
Randomize
