why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
Why is there bacon in the couch?
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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