Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Randomize
