Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
Randomize
