omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
