I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
Randomize
