how hairy? two words: wookie tits
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
I'm currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
just to let you know, that was probably the funniest text i've ever received.
I suppose that kind of helps fill the void where my self respect used to be.
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
