Ambien. No doubt about it.
I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Randomize
