Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Randomize
