You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
Randomize
