It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
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