Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
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