and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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