So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Randomize
