Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
please come you make the beer taste better
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
Randomize
