Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
Randomize
