You don't have asthma, your pregnant
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
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