is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
Randomize
