What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
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