Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
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