HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
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