Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
Randomize
