In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
Randomize
