You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
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