you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
Randomize
