No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.�
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
its liver damage thursday
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