she smelled like a LAN party
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize
