you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
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