FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
Randomize
