I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize
