Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
