Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
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